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Worn Out

by Conveyer

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1.
"Meaningless. It's meaningless." A lie you've been told All your life. It's hard to see What constitutes for truth. Look at me, See nothing. Not because There's nothing there. I don't want to see you. There's nothing for me Outside of mercy. So who are you? I don't know you. Who am I? You'll never know. I chose, a long time ago, That I would never let myself Fall victim to the mindset Reserved for the greedy, The lustful, the selfish, the hating, the negative. Still, you continue to haunt, In spite of me. But I won't suffer the thought, The thought that you Have a hold on me. It's time for you to let me be, And take a second to let me breathe. When are you gonna learn I'm not going alive? When are you gonna learn? I'm not going at all. I'm not going. I'm not going at all. I'm not going. I'm not going... At all. Holding to my Foundation To keep my head Above the rushing water. Free from you; From this world. Safe from getting Dragged under. A life of lies Can't hide me from the Truth. Do you see me now? Can you hear me now? I'm not laying down. I'm standing up To the demons inside me.
2.
Nothing 02:52
I'll never be good enough. I'll just hang my head as smiles grace your faces like you understand. But you don't know all the struggles that I face; all the burdens on my plate; all the joy that's been erased. I've never felt so separated, disconnected, and so hated. I feel nothing from the things that surround me, so what does it matter if I give nothing back? I don't feel anything. Help me feel anything; anything at all. What do You see in me? I don't see anything. What do You see in me? Was I worth the cost? I know how it goes, "Your debt's paid in full". But how can I hold on when I sink down this low? I can't bear the weight of all my mistakes. Can You take them from me or am I too late? God, I need some sympathy. I need some direction in front of me. A guiding light; a flicker of hope to take me back to the life I know. God, I need You now.
3.
Worn Out 03:47
Locked inside this unstable mind. A daily struggle to get out from behind these cold, dark walls that are caging me in. I will hold my own in a world that means nothing to me. There is so much more than the chains that are holding you back. What are you still searching for if the answers are there in your hands? Give it up; give up the life you planned. The things you gain will leave you in the end. Hold to the promise of a life made new. If you can give up your ways that life will come to you. Give it up. Is that what you want? Give it up. Possessions will weigh you down. But when there's nothing to save you, is it too late to turn around? You can fall down as far as you let yourself. Blinded by the world that surrounds you. Cast aside the fears of uncertainty. Look past the lies that you've been told for all your life. Because there's only one truth left to live for. There is only one truth. I've changed my ways and cleared my mind, gaining some distance on what I've left behind. I know my place, and I won't be deceived. I will take back the time that was stolen from me. I refuse to belong to a world that believes there is nothing more than this. This is not who I am. This is not for me.
4.
Captive 03:14
Looking back these past few years, I must admit that I am not myself. I will keep from sinking. When did I become a stranger to everyone? Where do I belong? I lost what I believe, lost in complacency, without even putting up a fight. Lost in a world that only cares for itself, held captive by the weight of worldly possessions. With a faith that is ever-fading, where did we go wrong? I will not conform. I am not a pattern of this world. I will never belong. The weight of the world will not hold me down. I will keep from sinking. I found my way out. Take my hand. I will lead you to what you've been searching for. Take the world, but give me Jesus. I have found my way out. I will keep from sinking.
5.
Surrendering 02:54
You don't care about me or what I say. Cast me out so I stay away. Nothing special; wasted space. In the way and out of place. I live my life so I'm not alive. Fade away until I die. Nothing to give and not a thing to take. I want to try, but I'm too late. I'm selfish, ungrateful, a coward incapable of showing the love I didn't know I had. My bitterness is taking over, blinded by what I can't see. But I know that I hate the world that's always hated me. Why is it so hard to see what's so hard for me to separate these things? Right or wrong, truth or not. I won't let this world take my life from me. I've had enough. I had a thought placed inside my head. I've had enough of this world that speaks for death. I had a thought. It was placed in my head. But I won't give up I'll beat out death instead. I won't give up. Don't give up on me. I can't stand aside and let the world decide what's right for me. I won't surrender. I'll lift my eyes, and not a flag. I won't surrender. I'll live to see another day. I won't surrender. I'll lift my eyes. I'm not afraid.
6.
Motions 01:53
(Instrumental)
7.
Patience 04:00
There's so many things that I try to control, with nothing to lose on by letting them go. Afraid of the outcome, I state my case, but when will my plans be replaced by my faith? I have no time to wait on myself. I stand behind You, I'll wait for Your call. Everything that You are is everything that I strive to be. Everything that I am I owe to You. Everything that You are is everything that I strive to be. Everything that I am I owe to You. Patience is the enemy of everything inside of me. A patient mind and patient words are worth more than this selfish world. I will trust in You. I put my faith in You. Take me away. Take me away, away from myself. I cannot be trusted with anything else. I've gone too long holding onto my life. It's time to stop running. Give me patience. Everything that You are is everything that I strive to be. Everything that I am I owe to You. Everything that You are is everything that I strive to be. Everything that I am I owe to You.
8.
Disconnected 03:27
I've been chasing an image that I have had as far back as my mind will let me go. The older I get, the less I seem to care. Maybe I was wrong. Am I looking at life through closed eyes, or am I starting to understand I was called for more than living this life without taking chances? Father, give me direction. I am so lost. Lost in my own skin. I can't go on pretending, but it feels so good to finally admit that these dreams we set were never enough. We were meant for more. Selfish men die with empty hands. Judge me on what I do with the time that I am here. You know my heart. You know my every desire. You know my heart. Help me see this life through your eyes, because all I see is a world so hopeless, we are so helpless without You. Make us new. Give us the heart to chase after You. Make me new. Give me the heart to chase after You. Change my heart. Make me new.
9.
What have I done to make You feel this way? I gave You everything I have. You took it all away. Do I deserve the pain I feel and this emptiness? Am I alone? Where's my home? Are You still listening? I can't afford to give You more. This wasn't what I was looking for. What will it take to make You understand? I don't know if I can trust You. It's getting harder just to love You. What happened to Your so-called "perfect plan?" Farther and farther away. I find myself falling apart. Deeper and deeper I sink. Reaching for You, I'm reaching for You. Carry me. Bring me peace. Asking questions still unanswered. Please, oh God, give me a sign. I feel as though I'm falling faster, carrying what isn't mine. The questions asked have all been answered. The blame I placed became my hell. Left with nothing at the bottom of the hole I dug myself. I blame myself. Undeserving. Ungrateful. (Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.) Please forgive me for all that I've done. I'm defeated; a shameful son. I have nothing to offer You. I'm on my knees in front of You. Take my life. Have it all. Just give me grace and hear my call. I'm sorry.

credits

released December 31, 2013

Mixed, Mastered and Recorded by Mick Maslowski at Zoinga Studios in Royal Oak, Michigan.

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Conveyer Cottage Grove, Minnesota

Melodic Hardcore from Minnesota.

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